Becoming a mum has brought me such excitement and uncertainty, joy and frustration, laughter, tears, and not a lot of sleep. But it has also come with this statement from people around me…

“You look tired”

…well, no shit!

Everyone knows new mums don’t get much shut eye, so it baffles me beyond measure WHY people think telling them they look tired would make them feel better? Leaving the house requires a lot more planning than grabbing my handbag and walking out the door so the fact that I’m outside the house, with semi clean clothes on is an achievement in itself, so to be met with this comment, is a bit of a punch in the guts.

In my mind, when someone tells me I look tired, I take it as I look terrible, which as you can imagine, doesn’t leave me feeling great. What is the purpose of such a comment? Do they think my awareness of this state of constant exhaustion eludes me?

Just a heads up, if you think I look tired, chances are I am tired! Babe, I know I’m tired, thanks for pointing it out.

Astrid sleeps really well and usually only wakes for one feed around 2am overnight, making me a lucky one. But sometimes, and as recently as two days ago, she woke up every two hours from 1am wanting to feed for the whole day, so as you can imagine, I wasn’t looking my loveliest. Catching up on missed sleep is also tough and although I’ve heard the “sleep when the baby sleeps” advice, it doesn’t always work that way.

So next time you see a new mum, or actually, basically anyone, who is looking a little tired, don’t bloody mention it to them- they know they are tired. Instead perhaps offer some assistance or food (food is always a good idea) or shut it.

If you need me, I’ll be taking a nap 😴

-tgfs x

3 Replies to “Please Stop Saying This to Me”

  1. Dominique, je pense qu’il y a peut- être une connotation culturelle dans ce propos car chez nous, ne pas dire à quelqu’un qu’il a l’air fatigué quand cette personne est effectivement fatiguée, c’est ne pas la voir, c’est ignorer sa situation, faire comme si elle était transparente donc n’existait pas… on ne la voit pas telle qu’elle est, c’est ne montrer aucune empathie. C’est aussi une manière de proposer de l’aide : “tu as l’air fatigué, est-ce que je peux faire quelque chose pour toi ?”


    1. Je suis tout à fait d’accord, mais dans chaque situation pour moi, il n’est pas accompagné d’une offre d’aide, et ce n’est qu’un énoncé. je souhaite quelqu’un m’a dit « Tu a l’air fatigué, qu’est-ce que je peux faire aider »


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