It’s been a hot minute.
Well, lately, that’s how I start every blog post, and I vow I’ll do better until another four months sneak by and I’m back where I started.
This blog is a cherished part of my identity. It is where I put my ego in my back pocket and braved the vulnerability that comes with expressing myself in the world.
When I read back on my earlier entries, I feel transported to a different version of myself—an intimidated wannabe writer who had (read, has) an overflowing amount of imposter syndrome or an excited journalist, still carrying an abundant load of “they think I’m a fraud” but excited to be contributing my thoughts to the world.
That was until I fell out of love with writing. I took a role that turned my passion into a chore and logging off from my day job and then switching to writing here was the last thing I wanted to do.
That said, I was also a new(ish) mum, a self-published picture book writer, a master’s student, and a chronic forgetter of laundry sitting damp in the washing machine.
I felt guilty for neglecting the blog and only sporadically adding a post here and there. I continue to put these expectations on myself to be making something.
I guess that coupled with an explosion of creative energy electrifying my insides since having a baby, I am constantly hopping from idea to idea: This would be an excellent story for a picture book; I should write a novel; should I study a PhD? I think the wallpaper in the bathroom needs a refresh; I should freelance more.
I feel like I have so much creative energy and not enough hours in the day.
So, while I’ve decided to continue adding half-thought-out muses in my notes, imagine chapter outlines sitting in traffic, and talk myself out of torturing my husband to redo the bathroom wallpaper, I will also remind myself that creativity isn’t a sprint; it’s a marathon.
I started this blog as a way to push myself out of my comfort zone. I don’t have editors chasing me for missing deadlines or the pressure of missed payments if I don’t complete an article.
This is a luxury not many people enjoy.
Being creative is just a personality trait, and I don’t have to always channel it into making something polished and shiny.
If it’s months between getting in here – big deal!
I could be in the middle of writing my next book, completing my master’s thesis, or just being present with my family.
I need to drop the expectations and just enjoy the ride my brain takes me on, even the creative lightbulbs that pop into my mind at 3am.
-tgfs x
That Girl from Sydney 